He sleeps so perfect.

If only everything could be as simple as the way he sleeps.

Anxiety is getting the best of me again. Judgment is flowing in left and right; I can feel heavy eyes staring at me. And I start overanalyzing glances or snickers or gestures.

I've never felt as safe as I do when I'm with him. And it pains me to ever think about being apart from him. I wish the people I love would be equally accepting of this happiness that I suddenly feel...I wish there was no fear, and I wish I could be honest.

Can't Make Me Be.

That was the title of "The World of Jenks" tonight. I personally am in love with autistic people. I think they are superheroes in disguise. They have superhuman abilities, but the humility that we wish we could have. They have simplicity.

I have to agree, though, that what we can't help, we have to just roll with. If we can't help our feelings, our gestures, our personalities, then who is another person to judge?

I'm deathly afraid of school. I'm also saddened by the fact that it's my fourth year and I'm not graduating this year. I wish I was. I wish I could leave...but I know that my destiny probably had to be slowed down a little. God wanted me to stop letting people MAKE me be something. He needed me to detour.

I guess I just have to remember that "the very things we hate are here to build those muscles."