I can't sleep for the life of me.

Bad Habits

They're coming back.

I think sometimes, that there are certain things that I want for myself...as does anyone in this God-known universe. BUT...I feel like...there are only certain things I should be ale to do...be able to have.

...like a stable relationship.

Part of me wants to forget again...I don't want to care about anyone. I want to do what I want. I don't want to be frustrated. I don't want to worry. I don't want to TRAIN anyone HOW TO LOVE ME. I don't...want to care.

I don't want to love.

Because love is hard. It's frustrating. I never know if I'm doing it right.

Sometimes I still feel slutty.

Sometimes...I still feel like I'm lower than I am.

Like today...

Today...tonight...Right now...

is not a good moment.

I feel...lost. I feel like I want to abandon things. I feel frustrated. I feel like giving up. I feel like I can't burden anyone anymore. I can't remember my problems and have someone bear them with me. I want to be happy...or at least trick myself into thinking I am.

Sometimes...bad habits seem so good.