drown together and immortalize you and me
>>
and so the summer is fast approaching, and i feel like a complete failure. i feel like a disappointment. i shouldn`t feel that way seeing that i`m probably more gifted than a lot of people and i have a lot to be thankful for, but i honestly feel like i`m going to fail all my finals. i haven`t even started reading english yet, and that final is due...soon. too soon. and the final is too easy. a half a page theory on what i think michael cunningham`s the hours means. i don`t know what special meaning the hours has! i don`t have the capacity in my brain to think that much! i don`t understand algebra...and i fell 1.1% in chem...when i just went UP 6%. and to many, that`s not bad, but yeah...actually that`s bad. chem is actually a piece of cake, but LABS. they bite me in the ass. FUCK! i hate this. if i weren`t an overachiever and i could step out of my body and watch myself kick and scream over not getting the grades i wanted, i`d stuff a sock into my mouth. i mean, technically, i`m actually a good place. a good gpa. good stance in high school society. BUT GEEZ. i feel like such a disappointment. i can barely make practices, and i feel really bad because i love singing--but i have only been to practice a total of 5 times this year. and i feel so guilty about it that i can barely even face one of my favorite teachers in the whole planet. yeah. i sucked at treasury this year. i mean. UGH. UUUUGHHH. i sucked shit at class treasury this year. and there are probably no excuses for it. a;oidshfoaidyf. shoot me now. then there was the whole scandal. scaaandalll with community service. i mean, yeah, i kept the privileges. great. but i coulda been COMMUNITY SERVICE OFFICER! i coulda had something special. well...hopefully i`ll make it into TASC force. ugh. so what else. what fucking else. can i put myself down for. OH. okay. so i`m not complaining that i have to pay for everything i ever do. i mean geez. but. i think privileged children don`t realize how much people like ME envy them. i mean...if i could fill my bank account like nothing, then my life would probably not surround itself around paying people back or borrowing or paying shit or having to deal with budget responsibilities that i SHOULDN`T be worrying about. GOD. oh well. i need a job. journey`s i guess. and if worse comes to worse, i`ll work at sanrio. hah. whatever. I HATE GREAT MALL. I HATE IT.

whatever. just UGH.